Facebook Rant and More

This is politically incorrect. 

The grumpy old man is back :(

“Meme” Rant

This past week, I saw another cheesy “motivational” meme yet again. This time it was a girl in a sports bra taking a selfie. The text showed something like “You Have to Want It”. 

How is that motivating? It’s stupid. Want what? Attention? Some pretzels? 

Cheeeeeeesy.

I recently opened up about my stand on these things on my Facebook page. I got more support than I expected. Here it is in case you missed it:

“You’ve probably noticed that I don’t “share” pics of women or men with 6-pack abs with cheesy sayings like “You Have to Want it Bad Enough” or some other clever phrase.

Frankly, I think it’s why so many people are on edge. We’re pressured to look like someone you see on a cover of a magazine.

We’re supposed to feel guilty when we enjoy some pizza on a random Thursday night because you see a photo on Facebook of a skinny woman eating celery with the saying “Pizza Won’t Give Me These Abs” within minutes after your last bite.

Those photos don’t inspire me, so why would I share them to inspire you?

Besides, if I’m not willing to “eat clean, train mean” 100% of the time, I won’t ask you to do the same.

You can have balance and get healthy at the same time.”

Wrap Rant

I got yet another “invite” to share an “exciting opportunity” with all my readers. Yep… another God-forsaken body wrap product. I didn’t even respond. I deleted the email. Had I responded… it would have been something like this…

“Do you even know me? Do you even read my newsletter? Do I even mention a stupid body wrap like… EVER? Listen, a body wrap is like putting a band-aid on a broken leg. You’re simply trying to mask a much deeper problem. Body wraps are cheesy. CHEESE man.”

Facebook Rant

When I run coaching groups, I do so through Facebook. I also have my flagship Inner Circle on there so I check in from time to time. And there it is…

… your political rant. 

You want to know how many people change their mind because of your whining?

Zero. <= This is how many people you influence when you gripe about something. 

Here’s a little politically incorrect Facebook trick…

Let’s say you want to stay friends with someone, but you don’t want to see their political agenda. You simply click on the little “down arrow” icon in the upper right across from their name. Then you click on “Unfollow ____ (whatever their name is). 

Do it. It’s a glorious feeling. 

The Word “Flapjack” Rant

?What in God’s cuckoo clock is a “flapjack”? It’s a pancake for crying out loud. “Flapjack” is just some guy named Jack trying to steal the thunder from a glorious pancake. 

That’s why it’s called “pancake syrup” and not “flapjack sauce”. Stop being hateful to pancakes. 

Being Healthy is Expensive Rant

So, let me get this straight. You can’t “afford” to make healthier choices, yet you hit Starbucks just about every day on the way to work? Sure, that makes sense.

Well… maybe you can figure something out at Happy Hour with your co-workers when you spend $20 on a burger and fries. 

Nuff said about that. 

“Those People” at the Gym Rant

It doesn’t matter what time I go. It doesn’t matter what day it is. It doesn’t matter what “section” of the gym I’m in. 

There SHE is. 

One day, I want to say…

“Why don’t you just show up naked? Wouldn’t that be easier? You’re not wearing a sports bra. You’re practically wearing a string bikini. Did you know you’re not at the pool? The pool is outside and you won’t get a tan in here. Just sayin’. 

And how many inches of make-up is on your face right now? I want to run a contest. My vote is 4-1/2. How close am I? Did I nail it?

The Old Man in the Locker Room Rant

“Hey everyone! I’m in my 70’s and I’m naked! Naked I say! Look at me. I’m so proud of my nakedness. When I was born, I was born naked. And now… I’m naked again. Covering myself with a towel is out of the question. I shall blow dry my hair, wash my hands and even sing… NAKED. I hope this annoys you and you have a great day. 

By the way… I’m naked!”

Alright, I feel better. 

Hope you have a great start to the week,
Mikey Whitfield, Master CTT

 

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